The storm was looming over the Crystal Castle, whole Scarrith enveloped by heavy clouds, pregnant with rain and thunders.
One small figure was passing the courtyard, heading to the gardens, her heavy limping steps would resound in the corridors but here were muffled by the wind.
The small figure apparently didn't care for the wind blows and almost ghastly sound of the upcoming storm. The steps were limping but fast, the robe fluttering behind her, like a wings of enourmous crystal bat, or even a large hasslak bird, who's feathers were the crown of many robes of young Ornamentalist...
Now the dust replaced the feathers, the stony castle interior held more secrets.
Just as her heart, filled with strange uncertainty and heavy confusion.
What to do?
SkekLa hid her pale face deep into her ruffles, smelling the rain in the air. She needed it, she needed the raindrops falling on her face, calming her down, steering her feelings in the right direction. But the wind was too strong and her throat was gasping for air, through semi-protected beak.
Why am I even going out now? Will it change it somehow? Will it... HELP?
She paced to the garden entrance. At this late hour, Gardener SkekFer was absent, already nestled in the cozy safety of her flower-scented chamber.
She lifted her head, looking at the clouds. As her heart, they were promising a heavy load of emotions... once bursted, they will probably never calm down for good.
Like a stone, thrown into the pond. The water calms down but the stone is still there. Changing the pond forever.
She was moving through the green, minding to not wake up the carniovorous plants. Now the luminescent night flowers were rising corollas, the garden looked like taken from outside of this world. Magical. Alluring and tempting.
She breathed heavily. Sitting on a small bench, she let her hands loosely, laying on her knees and touching the ground. She looked like a rag doll in this position.
Why she had to realize all these things?
She was good ally to Chamberlain SkekSil. She was good friend, good sister. Why to change that? Why to destroy the status quo, when he probably never thought about her in THAT way?
She was living her life alone, when her fellows mated with each other, for longer, forever or briefly. She allowed herself to feel only friendship to Chamberlain or Counselor. She was hugging them, when wanting to reassure them, even if in case of the Counselor, hugging was leaving him quite shocked.
She never mated and never wanted to aknowledge that she is capable to... love.
But now, she understood that it's no more. The end of faking, the end of lying to others and herself, more so, that her heart is closed for love and her arms don't crave for embraces such different to hugs.
She realized clearly that she LOVES him.
She loves HER Sil...
That hit her like a stone, like a rock. Was pleasant, warm but also paining and hurting. All the questions, nestled in her, asking her if she has enough courage to tell him, to risk his redrawn and scorn, to make something with this stinging feeling in her chest, which was as bitter as it was sweet.
Her chest heaved.
She had choice to live as she lived so far, trying to forget about that she doesn't feel Chamberlain as her "brother" anymore... or to DARE.
Will she dare...?
Her eyes suddenly released few droplets of tears. Or it was rain, already dancing on her eyelids.
She rised her head, looked into the raging sky, allowing the rain to shove the tears away, to clean her soul, clean her face and clean her heart.
Why it was so difficult?
The answer was clear, even for her, who thought that she will never love.
The worthy things are difficult to achieve... but the prize is so much sweeter.